T & T

Trevor and Trish. The Brownes ’27

Trevor and Trish beneath an ornate garden arch

A word before the story

Sankofa

Sɛ wo were fi na wosankɔfa a yenkyi

There is no wrong in going back for what is yours

Woforo dua pa a, na yɛpia wo

When you climb a good tree, you are given a push

Sankofa is about return rather than loss. What it sends you back for is already yours. It is an old and steady idea: you turn to where you come from when the moment calls for it, you take what is good and true there, and you carry it forward.

The word is three words in Twi. San, to return. Kɔ, to go. Fa, to fetch. It is drawn as a bird striding forward with its head turned the whole way round and an egg held safe in its beak, and in the form above, as a heart with both ends curled inward. Goldsmiths cast it into weights. Carvers cut it into stools. It has sat in Akan houses for centuries, where everything kept had earned its place.

Every Ghanaian living far from Ghana knows a version of this. You are in New York. The house is in Accra. The elders who have to be greeted are hours ahead of your morning and an ocean past your front door, and it would be the easiest thing in the world to decide the distance lets you off. Most people would understand.

It does not let you off. A door still has to be knocked on. A drink still has to be put into someone’s hands. The words still have to be said in the right order, to the right people, at the hour they have always been said. Where you happen to be standing has never changed where you are from, and no time zone outranks a family.

Akwaaba

Welcome

Arrive at a Ghanaian house unannounced, at an awkward hour, with something difficult to say, and you will be given a chair and a glass of water before anyone asks you a single question.

Akwaaba is the word for that. It means the door is open and the seat is yours, and that whatever brought you will keep until the house has asked whether the journey was long. The business comes second. The welcome comes first, always, whether the house has had three hours’ notice or none at all.

Trevor and Trish are glad you are here. What follows is the best of two houses, written out at length because it deserved to be: an ocean, several centuries, a good deal of gold thread, and a knock at a door in Accra. Take your time with it. It was a pleasure to put together, and it is meant to be a pleasure to read.

Trish and Trevor smiling together on a sofa, Trish holding a cup of tea
our midday tea
Trish and Trevor raising a glass together
Trish & Trevor

The Story of Us

Our love story.

For seven months, a dear friend had urged her toward the dating apps, and for seven months, she laughed and refused. You may need a whole year, the friend would say, to find the kind, responsible soul you are hoping for. Best to begin now. At last, on an unremarkable weekday, she gave in, joining quietly, half-hiding her face, expecting nothing and hoping for everything.

Among the many greetings that found her, one gentleman stood apart: before she had even learned his name, he had liked not one but three of her photographs. She answered with the only icebreaker she trusted: she called him Pretty Face, because he truly had one, and she meant to find out whether it was real. Then, being honest to a fault, she told him plainly who she was, so he would never be sorry for the time he spent. He was not sorry. He was intrigued, for in his experience warmth was rare, and he stayed.

“How was your day?”Four small words, and everything began

The next evening a single question arrived: “How was your day?” Such a small thing, and yet something in her shifted, for he had come back. A coffee break was arranged for early the next morning. She ran there, more afraid he would think she had stood him up than that she would arrive breathless. And breathless she arrived, eight minutes late, apologising before she had even found her seat.

He never once mentioned the lost minutes. By his own telling he was far too taken to mind them: she was prettier in person than any photograph had shown. And Trevor, quick to see a gift where another might have seen a mishap, seized the moment. When she reached for her card to pay for her own cup, he stopped her gently, and before the cups were empty he had asked for the pleasure of seeing her again.

At the little junction where their two paths part each day, he asked for her number, only to keep talking, he said. That same afternoon they set out walking, mile upon mile, speaking of life and of love until the evening closed around them and neither had noticed the hours pass. By the week’s end she had made her quiet decision: she deleted the apps and sent him the proof. His answer came at once: “You motivate me a lot, and I think I want to have something serious with you. I think I’m beginning to fall in love with you.” And before the night was out, his own were gone too.

When her birthday drew near, she wished only to spend it in worship, and he, who has never once let an open door pass him by, threw it wide: come to church with me. His mother, who keeps another Sunday habit entirely, came that morning for one purpose alone: to meet the girl her son had been speaking of. There she met his whole family at once, and their warmth told her everything a heart needs to know. This union had every chance, if only they let it.

To this day, they take their tea break together in the middle of the day. The rest, as they say, is history, and this is us today.

In the order it happens

The celebration chapters

Three moments, each with its own meaning, held across two remarkable years.

Cloth and colour

Fashion

Neither family has ever thought cloth a small matter. What each of them reaches for, what all of it is called, and what to wear to each of the three occasions.

Beyond the ceremonies

A Taste of Cultures

Two ends of one ocean, and a few of the things each of them has given the rest of the world.

The Atlantic runs along the whole southern edge of Ghana. Follow it far enough north and it arrives at the west coast of Ireland, and then at the Hebrides. One water, two shores, and on each of them people who decided a very long time ago that what the ground gives you is worth working by hand and worth naming after the place it came from.

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